Driving round a bend and skidding on a mat of dead toads is very unpleasant for all concerned.”

July 13, 2007 at 1:06 am (Driving, Swifty)

My breaks failed the day before yesterday. I was heading to the Seri complex on a busy, busy, busy dual carriageway and was on the bend round to the right, when the brakes felt, well nothing really. I knew I had put my foot down but as Swifty hadn’t slowed at all I assumed I had touched the accelorator. So in my minort confusion, I touched the accelorator with my foot.

Imagine the scenario, I now still have no brakes but I am going a little bit faster. Thirty seconds later I approached a stopped car at a junction, by this time I’m stamping my foot like a show pony, with no response from the breaks at all. I did try gesticulating madly at the car in front to move but I suspect if he saw, (checking mirrors while driving not being a huge thing here) he merely thought I was disco-ing. (“Mad Western women, always dancing, always provocative”) I didn’t have time to use the gears to slow down but fortunately I managed to use the hand brake to stop before I hit him, .

‘S funny really, normally I just need to look at traffic and I stall, the one time I could have done with stalling and I completely lost the ability.

Swifty is now feeling much better, comparing it to a 24 hopur hour bug and swearing it will never happen again. Hhe’s going in for a check up anyway.


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Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated.”

March 15, 2007 at 2:15 am (Driving, Swifty)

suzuki_swift_blue_vr.jpgI did buy a car! A Suzuki Swift GA hatchback ,  it’s red.  Very sadly, one of the staff  has had a mental breakdown of some description and is being shipped back to the UK. His boss is selling off all his stuff quickly so he has some money to go home with. Sad for him but bargin car for me. I checked with the counsellor and you can’t catch mental from a car so I should be fine.I went for a test drive yesterday with someone and then drove home ON MY OWN! I did follow someone (who lives in my block – he had offered –  I wasn’t stalking or anything) just in case.Then I did my first border run last night, while my passengers gripped the chairs and let their knuckles turn white!I drove to work this morning. Not following anyone or insisting that I had someone in the car with me or anything. Just me and my Swift. I am parked in the car park and have just invited everyone I have ever met to come and admire my parking skills. I’m in-between the lines and everything. Bet that doesn’t happen twice. I’m still a little over cautious but I don’t know that’s such a bad thing, especially as we don’t have pavements here so if for any reason someone does try and walk, they do it on the hard shoulder. I know most of you went through this at seventeen but please cut me some slack, I have been a phobic driver ever since my driving instructor when I was 17, asked if he could see my underwear then at a later date told me that he had put his fist though a window after an argument with his wife where she accused him of fancying me. Then there was the instructor with the false ear. Can’t think why I developed such a terror of learning to drive.

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