“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

July 13, 2007 at 12:57 am (Mowgli)

Am not seeing Mowgli anymore. It was nice while it lasted but I never got to see him, he was always at work and when he wasn’t at work, I was on holiday. He’s a lovely boy, pretty, charming and courteous but not for me.To begin with we didn’t really have anything in common. Not even our sense of humour. I am funny goddamn it. I know I’m funny. I have to be funny because I am neither pretty nor clever.

Secondly I couldn’t get my head around dating a jungle warrior who built elaborate forts for a living. He did try to explain to me how hard it was being in the jungle, where you sweated so much that you’re camouflage cream needed to be replaced every 15 mins and I’m not sure he liked me comparing it to a night clubbing in central London.

It’s disappointing for the fact I don’t really like the social scene much here and he was one of the few things I could look forward to. One of the other things that is a bit rubbish is if I’d split up with someone in the UK, I’d have phoned around and we would have got a group of people together and we’d have gone out on the piss. By 8pm we would be discussing going for a civilised meal to discuss the situation and offer appropriate sympathy. By 9pm we would be poo pooing the automatic reminder that appears on all our phones to tell us that quavers are not an appropriate stomach lining for a night of heavy drinking and we’d be picking up strangers from the legion to ballroom dance across the pub with.

I want my break up party. I’ve done the hard graft, now I want my reward.

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